This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
