Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
