Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
should my penis look like a turkey
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
