Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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