just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize