you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
