We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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