so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
