4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
