if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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