He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
