and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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