He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize