I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
