oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
