i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
