whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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