So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
