That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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