I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize