I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
