Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
