I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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