What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
