I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
