you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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