she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
