i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize