One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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