I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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