guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
