At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize