love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
