Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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