why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
