True but thats because hes a fetus.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
