i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
