you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
