carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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