OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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