when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
