I just threw up on my dentist
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
