Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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