when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize