I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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