so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
