we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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