Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
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