before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
