feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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