Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
