You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i came on her dog
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
