It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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