she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
