there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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