three words: i give head
three words: not that well
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
