I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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